Writing Your Wedding Vows: Ideas To Inspire You
Writing your wedding vows can be a daunting task, especially if you don’t know where to start. But it doesn’t have to be so intimidating—there are plenty of ideas and resources out there that can help you express your love for the person you are about to marry. Here are some tips and guidelines for writing your own vows, plus some inspiration to get you started. How personalized wedding vows can elevate your overall wedding day experience.
Fascinating Ideas for Wedding Vows to Inspire You
…along with my experience witnessing them
…I’m sitting here trying to write these vows and, is this something we really want to do? Everything is great as it is, I don’t want to screw it up. I screwed up twice before.
Sounds to me like you have a bit of little writer’s block..and I find as a professional writer, it’s best that you stop thinking about it so much and go to bed, and in the morning – you’ll know what to do. And if not then, just write this, “I will love you”. Simple, to the point, and I swear, I won’t even try to take credit for it. It’s me and you. -Carrie Bradshaw
Among the chaos of activities and planning for your upcoming wedding ceremony–the content of the wedding vows is. often it is assumed the officiant or minister will read a Bible quote and a page of the traditional ceremony. I can certainly say this was the case for me, but only once. Wedding vows are so beautiful. Not every couple writes their own vows. Most of the couples I’ve worked with didn’t write to them. Last year, however, I planned a wedding with a couple who did. This changed my entire viewpoint and shifted how I work weddings, from planning to stationery and everything in between.
Last year in the fall at my client’s wedding, I had been running- literally running- to ensure everything was perfect for my client’s wedding day. We spent months preparing for this special day.
Weddings are essentially a production, constantly working behind the scenes, making sure that every task is completed on time and up to the standards we set during our 12-14 months of planning.
There is a sense of accomplishment when it’s time for the beautiful bride to walk down the aisle. All of the hard work we had all put in is literally taking play right there in front of you, and then you know you did everything you absolutely could, because she’s smiling, she’s looking at her soon-to-be husband at the opposite end of the aisle.
Everything was right on time, all the attention was on her, just the way it should be.
I’m in the back of the ballroom, my mind tuned out to think to myself, finally breathing and relaxing thinking about the next sequence of events, and feeling pretty good about the flow. Then, something happened in the front of the room between the couple, when my ears tuned back in from my deep thoughts. I was hearing something, the most beautiful exchange of words between a man and a woman. My mind did an instant rewind. I recalled during our planning the bride telling me that she and her fiance’ had written their own vows, which I placed in our sequence of events, timelines, and production schedule, and the “Exchange of Vows” was beautifully displayed in printed programs without really thinking any further into it.
Fast forward to this day, I’m hearing the vows, I’m hearing the bride, followed by the groom, sharing their love for each other in front of nearly 105 of their closest family and friends. Just listening to the words, my heart instantly melted. I’m a sucker for sweet words. Planning a wedding with a couple, you kind of develop a newfound pair of BFFs. Up to fourteen months is a long time to spend with a couple, and my goal is to get to know them as much as I possibly can.
There are some things that are truly meant to be a gem, treasured on paper, and those are their wedding vows. I thought I had thought of everything. I just witnessed the true foundation of their entire wedding day and this small detail was everything. There was nothing I planned more important than the words I just listened to from the couple. I knew then from that day forward how much wedding vows would truly set the tone and intimate experience of what a wedding day should look like.
This really made me think far beyond my planning; all of my tools, logistics, programs, and chaos. More couples are opting to personalize their ceremony than ever before. Couples are taking the time to really think through their words, or maybe not think through them, and just let it flow from their hearts, but I found it’s definitely something to capture. At the end of the day, the pressure to write the perfect vows is immense. This can come at the beginning of the ceremony or even after the traditional vows just before the pronouncement.
If you’re thinking about writing your wedding vows, this is what creates a moment in time, even if it’s just a sentence or two, or maybe even a few words. The purpose of wedding vows is to express the depth of love and commitment to all who will listen.
Write your non-traditional wedding vows out and even rehearse them before the special day. Unless you are an experienced lecturer used to delivering your insights extemporaneously, you’ll feel a lot more comfortable, even amongst those who love you, if you know what you’re going to say ahead of time. Remember, this doesn’t have to be very long or fancy, just write what comes to mind.
Here are a few other tips:
Think about what would make your partner laugh.
Describe how you see going through life together.
Throw it back to your very first date.
Write down what you hope to bring to their life.
Forget about the audience.
Make a list of your favorite qualities.
The paper that you decide to use and read from should be clearly legible. Even if you’re working on it right up until a few moments before your ceremony, use a fresh piece of paper free from words that may have been crossed out, edits, and side notes. Give some thought to the presentation and the beautiful words will be captured by your photographer and videographer. Written Vows also make for a nice keepsake.
I wonder even to this day if my clients have kept their written vows in a place where they can go back and reflect. I decided this year to be sure to give my couples the option to have their words and thoughts on paper in a book, that they can cherish forever. These vow books have a beautiful linen cover in cool-colored fabric with an inner cover, with a dedicated spot to write your name and wedding date, and contain 80 lined pages. This should be enough pages to renew, retouch, or read again in the future.
Start gathering inspiration now, do a writing prompt, and let that simmer for a while before you start writing.
about the author
Ruby Brewer-Watkins is a Certified Wedding Planner, Chef, and Hospitality Professional specializing in full-service wedding stationery and etiquette. Her guest list planning and creative process created efficiency within her client projects, which allowed her to effectively collaborate, design, and create beautiful wedding invitations and “day of” stationery for countless couples since 2015.
Hi, I’m Ruby, your creative wedding professional. FINALLY, you made it! You can catch a glimpse into a few things I love, specifically how I passionately create wedding invitations and details for the “day of” for couples. I hope that that my blog posts and articles contained within this beautiful space truly inspire you. I offer unfiltered advice and space to give yourself permission to be creative and explore options, and ideas that are available to you to celebrate life's greatest moments.
